You can't keep it
by thiswaybecauseofjacob
Summary: A common misunderstanding. Nothing to get worked up about, right? Mild humour, just light and fun. EC.


**----Oneshots..how fun these are! Just a light one for fun. Enjoy. **

The antique clock ticked annoyingly on the shelf on Erik's kitchen cabinet, irritating the tense couple currently seated at the kitchen table. One glared at the other, while the other looked down in anger.

This had been going on for two hours.

Christine sat in the awkward silence of Erik's kitchen, staring at the wooden table that was the only barrier between her and the masked man sitting two feet away from her.

She sighed in annoyance as the silence stretched on. She risked a glance up at him from beneath her eyelashes, and saw him sitting solemnly, still as stone, a grim smile on his twisted lips. He had never looked so devilish, and. ._taunting._

Christine frowned at him. He was obviously testing her persistence, but she would not be swayed. He would not win against her. .she knew he was incredibly impatient. She sighed again, this time louder and more exaggerated, and reached out her hands to trace the designs on the table with her finger. She began to hum a soft, annoying tune, humming it just loud enough to where it would provoke if repeated too many times. She made it off-tune, as well, just to spite him.

She was indeed having too much fun with this, and it was probably not wise, but she had been irritated by him enough, and she was not going to speak to him again until he made up his mind. She continued humming, and she barely heard the shift of fabric as Erik twisted in his seat. Her humming grew slightly louder.

Erik finally slammed his hand down onto the table, making the table shake ominously. She looked up at him innocently, feigning a hurt expression at his interrupting her singing. Erik sneered at her, and she saw the anger flash in his eyes.

Christine only held her chin higher, resolute and implacable. He honestly thought he could frighten her into submission? He should know by now that that never worked anymore.

He was standing now, back slightly hunched and legs bent as if he were debating on whether to sit or not, and his mouth was in an angry frown, almost a pout. Christine wanted to laugh, but bit it back. Finally, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he exhaled, and let his shoulders relax. He raised himself up to his full height, bowed slightly at her, and resumed his seat with all of his usual elegance and grace.

Christine smiled pleasantly.

"You can't keep it," he finally said, his voice cold and even. Christine's mouth fell open in shock.

"What do you mean, I can't keep it!" she yelled indignantly. She stood up quickly, shoving her chair back as she walked around the table to the man seated across from her. When she reached her destination, she raised herself up to her full height - such as it was - and glared. "Do you expect me to kill it? You want me to be a murderer? That's..that's terrible, Erik! It has nowhere else it can live but here!"

Erik scoffed. "Foolish girl. There are places that adopt things such as it!"

Christine gasped in horror. "Such as_it?_ You don't want a new companion? You don't want company? Don't you ever get lonely in this wretched place?"

"It's crowded enough as it is, down here, and I'd rather not add more clutter to the pile, thank you!"

Christine fought back the urge to slap him. Why was he being so selfish? She thought he would be happy for them now that she had found this, not raving mad!

"It's crowded because it is a ihole/i, built into the wall of a cellar, five stories below the opera house, which is also next to a lake, which the sewer happens to feed off of! No wonder it's crowded! God, Erik. .I never thought you could be this heartless!"

Erik raised himself up as well, his 6'6" towering over her 5'7". He glared at her, eyes narrowed and fists clenched tightly at his sides. He leaned in towards her, causing her to step back unconsciously. He mirrored the movement, until she was backed against the wall.

"Let me make this plain and simple, Christine," he began, his breath warm on her face, but his voice cold. "I," he pointed at himself to emphasize, as if Christine were a toddler, "do NOT"-he made a slashing movement with his hands- "want something that I will have to feed, and baby, and take care of, and watch over, and play with constantly, and make sure she doesn't urinate on everything before she is trained otherwise! I will not play father to anything!"

The sound of Christine's hand connecting with his good cheek echoed through the small but poorly furnished kitchen. She clenched her teeth together, fighting the urge to slap him again. That, she was sure, would drive him over the edge.

"Why are you being this way, Erik?" Erik looked back at her, aggravated again. He began to speak, but Christine cut him off. "She. .or he, whichever it is, is a person, not some. .animal! So stop-. ."

She stopped speaking as she saw Erik's eyes widen, and his face pale to the color of his mask. His eyes slowly shifted to hers, terrified and confused at the same time.

"What did you say?" he asked, voice trembling and hands shaking. Surely she didn't mean. .surely they were talking about the same. .

"The baby, Erik! The one you've been calling names for the past 5 minutes? I'm pregnant! With your child!"

Erik backed away from her slowly, shaking his head weakly as Christine asked if he was alright.

"I thought," he started, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat.

"I thought. .I thought it was a kitten!"

Christine seemed confused by his bewildered statement, and tilted her head to the side as she procesesed it. Meanwhile, Erik continued.

"All you said was.. 'there's going to be a new addition to the family, Erik. .is that all right?' I thought you meant a. .a kitten, or a. .bunny, or something! A canary, for heaven's sake! But not a. .a..a baby!"

Christine continued staring at him, still bewildered, until a look of realization came onto her face, and her face widened into a huge grin.

"So it's alright then?" she asked hopefully, her eyes pleading desperately. He took one look at her, nodded softly, then dazedly got up and walked out of the room. The poor man was blown away.

The second he was out the door, Christine burst out laughing, not stopping even when she heard Erik's soft laughter from the other side of the door, mixed with his tears of joy and relief.

He_detested_ animals.

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**Review please! I know it's short, but I'm tired, and I was in a good mood, so HERE:P**


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